This past week I had a massive moment of self-doubt. Was I living/behaving appropriately??
This past 18 months I have felt more like myself than ever. I’m comfortable in my body, I think I have this Motherhood thing down, I’m in a very happy marriage, I have great friends and a full happy life. However this week I questioned myself. Over the weekend I posted a photo of myself on Facebook by the pool in my bikini and it seemed to send people spinning!!
After I received a phone call about the photo, I quickly questioned myself and removed the image from Facebook.
I’m not ashamed of the picture, not at all, I work very hard trying to look good for my age. My husband has no issue with the picture and my kids see me by the pool in my bikini all summer long. So it’s not an issue for them (I’m sure it will be in 15 years, but thankfully it’s not yet).
So if I am comfortable, my husband and kids are comfortable, why remove it?
After some thought this week this is what I came up with. The connections I have on Facebook are connections with family and friends, these connections have certain expectations of a 30 something Mum of two. The pressure I felt came from others expectations, it’s not what they expected out of me. If I was 20 something, not married, no kids, I guarantee there would be no issue.
I am very well aware that there is no way to please everyone, I am not obligated to live the way others think I should. So again why did I remove it?
I removed it because I felt the pressure of those expectations from the people who know me as a wife and Mother. I did however leave the image on Instagram and my website. Why you ask? Instagram has a certain level of disconnect to it, it’s a world of images, it’s quick and impersonal. Your followers are not friends like Facebook. And my site, well that’s ALL about me and if I want to have a picture of me in my bikini I can, regardless of my age or that I am a Mum!
So my question is do you think before you advertise your life on social media? Do you post based on others expectations??
Being true to yourself creates an energy that’s intoxicating. I’m am drawn to people who are like this and I like to think others like this quality in me.
I’m very lucky to be married to someone who refuses to live by others expectations, he can be very frustrating to others (and me sometimes) because he does things his way. Don’t get me wrong he has amazing compassion and empathy, but he is true to his beliefs and his journey. He’s success in life has been because he has never conformed. He lives his life without worrying about what others think of him. He doesn’t get why I took the photo down! I wanted to say “thank you” to him in this post, he listened to me go on about this for days, talking it through and through AND through.
He helped me realise I need to go it alone sometimes, it builds strength and resilience. I will make mistakes, but I need to take them as learning opportunities on the way.
My conclusion from this experience is, create your own reality. Stop living how you think you “should be living”.
Speak up, be heard, your opinion matters, especially when it comes to your life and your decisions.
Trust your instincts.
AND people over 30 are allowed to be in bikini’s by the pool!