I’ve spent the last week living it up on the slopes. Skiing is fun, a lot of hard work, but fun. The days are tiring and take so much energy, lining up in lift lines, carrying gear and putting up with every personality you can imagine in freezing conditions.
There is a reason we do it, it’s just so cool to slide down the side of a frozen mountain, fast, without thinking about anything else but getting to the bottom unhurt and in my case, alive!
I’m the first to admit I am NOT a good skier, I’m getting better, but I’m not tackling any black runs any time soon. I persist with lessons to make sure I have the right techniques, whilst the whole lesson I am wishing it was over so I can just do it myself!
This week while on a run just after my ski lesson something happened. I was just having a little ski with my husband. He was first on the run and I followed, nothing unusual, everything was going brilliantly, until I detoured slightly, only slightly from his tracks. I suddenly fell spectacularly through pure powdered snow. I was chest deep, my skis were off and I was stuck! Alone, freezing and stuck!! My husband at this stage was out of sight and my phone was in my pants pocket buried deep in snow.
This had NEVER happened to me before, what the hell was I going to do??
I had two choices, stay and wait for help, or get myself out of this crap situation, fast.
Let me take you on a small detour and then I’ll get back to my snowy situation;
In year 11, in my psychology class we took a test, to see if we possessed fight or flight personality traits. The test was used to determine if faced with a dangerous situation would we stay and fight or run for safety. My test results were no surprise, they came back showing without a shadow of a doubt that I was a stay and fight kind of girl, I didn’t rate in the flight category at all.
This characteristic has stayed true. I was out once with my 2 kids, plus I had my niece and nephew with me, all of them under the age of 10, 4 kids just with me. We were all on an escalator and there was a man acting very unusual, I didn’t realize until my nephew turned to me and said “Can you take him?” That I was subconsciously sizing up the danger and was assessing a fight plan if needed. I calmly looked at my nephew and said “sure can”, there was no instinct to run, none at all. He smiled turned around and we kept on going about our business, danger assessed and thankfully avoided.
So back to me in the freezing snow, it took about 5 seconds for my fight personality to kick in, I was so furious, cold and not going to wait another second, I quickly dug myself, my ski’s, my poles out and crawled to harder snow. Exhausted I put my ski’s on, whilst still covered in snow and set off to find my husband.
I had an epiphany as I skied to find him. If he had of been there, I wouldn’t have got myself out as quickly. I wouldn’t have been as pi#*ed off. I would have taken all the help he would have given me and my fight instincts wouldn’t have kicked in.
I think if I was to take that year 11 personality test again now that I am a wife and mother, it would be very different. When I’m alone that trait is strong and unwavering, I would even say it’s at an extreme when I’m taking care of my kids on my own. However when I’m with my husband, it’s there but it changes, it works more like team, I have come to rely on him in those kind of situations. It hadn’t occurred to me until that exact moment.
Then I got thinking is this a bad thing?
I think I’ve softened slightly over the years, my family have made me appreciate everything more, I’m just as passionate, just as strong, just a touch less firey and I have learnt to appreciate help being there when I need it.
Being able to except help when it’s there, when you need it, from someone who can give it, is a positive. Being confident to take care of yourself when you have to, is just as important.
To answer my own question “where are you now that I need you?” Don’t worry, I’ve got it if I need to, but if your there to help, I’ll be happy to see you.