WHAT DOES MOTHERS DAY MEAN TO YOU?
I have been stuck writing my Mothers Day post this year. Which angle/approach has alluded me for the past few weeks. Then I realised this has happened to me before! Several years ago I had the exact same thing happen, I was very stuck. I ended up writing a post about what Mothers Day means to me and what it means to some of the women in my life. The post went viral for all the right reasons and every word I wrote still rings so true today. So, this year I am revisiting this post and sharing it again with my beautiful Glamor Hippie followers.
I’m stuck this week with pulling together my Mothers Day blog post and I had no idea why. I don’t have writer’s block. It’s not lack of inspiration. Everywhere I turn there are beautiful images of gorgeous Mothers Day ideas, tips, recipes, flowers and high teas that make you drop with envy.
My inspiration for my blog usually hits me like a bolt of lightning! I am compelled to stop what I’m doing and get my crazy thoughts out and on my computer screen as fast as possible. This approach can be a little insane, often there’s no planning and it can be a huge disruption to whatever I’m doing at the time. But it works for me, this way it’s honest and authentic. It’s a reflection of my reality. Each week I managed to write and design my posts and share them lovingly on my beautiful website.
But NOT this week, for some crazy reason I was stuck! Who would have thought Mothers Day was going to be the topic that caught me out?
I desperately turned to my strongest and most opinionated friend, someone who gives the most amazing advice and subsequent inspiration. I asked her “what does Mothers Day mean to you?” She paused and looked at me, “do you want the politically correct version or the truth?” I laughed and said, “the truth please!” We went on to discuss the topic at length and I found myself wanting to ask more Mum’s what Mothers Day means to them.
So, I did. The outcome blew me away!
Each friend I asked struggled to answer as soon as I asked the question. You could clearly see them stop and think before answering. If the question was being asked by anyone else other than a close girlfriend, I am sure they would have chosen a nice politically correct answer. But I was asking the question, the friend that you can vent to, the friend that is opinionated and the friend that has the blog. The answers were not what I was expecting!
Here you go, here’s what the women in my life truly think about Mothers Day:
“You have an expectation what the day will be and it always falls short. I give all of myself all year, every part of me and the kids don’t really care all that much on the day.”
“It’s a day about everyone else. Kids, husbands, your own Mum and your Mother-in-law and not about us.”
“My kids are too little to appreciate what it means, especially past 10 am on the day, everything switches back to normal by then!”
“My husband doesn’t buy me a present, I have to do that myself! He tells me every year that I’m not his mother.”
“It’s such a disappointment. I book where we have lunch, I organise everything and it’s just another day on the calendar, but with a tinge of disappointment.”
“It’s the worst day. You know what my perfect Mother’s Day would be. A day without my husband and kids, just me all day, wouldn’t that be brilliant!”
“It’s just like Valentines Day, it’s just a commercialised day to make us buy slippers, mugs and useless junk and to make us feel we should be doing something magical on the day. BUT who really feels magical on Mothers Day?”
At this stage I realised everyone that I had asked all had school-aged kids, I had to spread my net a little further, now I was fascinated to ask Mum’s with kids of different ages to see if I got a more positive response.
Next were friends with very young kids still in nappies and pregnant with more! I expected the responses to be more warm, kind and memorable. Um no, the experiences of these Mums were more about juggling the day, time with their parents (aka their children’s Grandparents) and other family members. Families full of sisters, brothers, sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, Aunts, Uncles, Parents, In-laws, Grandparents and quite a few kiddies running around. Exhausting as one Mum put it.
Wow, I really didn’t expect the responses I was getting, time to try a new tactic! Mums with adult kids!
This was fascinating. The emotion they shared was greater. These Mums pointed out that the day can be an awful day. Mum’s who have lost pregnancies, lost babies, lost young children and lost adult children can find it excruciating. There are children who have lost their Mums and of course, adults who share that loss.
These Mums also see the role of Motherhood as an evolutionary process. Once you become a Mum you truly understand and appreciate the day. However, the message was clear, if you still have your Mother and/or your Mother-in-law the day will not be about you. If you do make it about you it can make everything very difficult! You must wait until the baton has been passed on to you.
Just as I was losing all hope about the love we are supposed to feel on Mother’s Day I received a wonderful response from a gorgeous Mum I look up to and kinda idolise. She has adult kids and has transformed her Mothers Day to be a celebration of all the women in the family, her, her daughters and her Mum. She draws in her Dad, her husband and her son to pay homage to the women in their lives, it is a day to celebrate the world all the women have created. The men in her family have a deep understanding and value how important having these beautiful women as part of their lives and the difference each one makes. It’s a day for all the women to feel important.
So now my take on the day. I really like the day. My husband is a big softy and takes the time to make me feel very appreciated. My kids are very cute and love the day. I was told in my early 20’s that having kids wasn’t going to happen for me, the universe had a very different opinion and I was blessed with the two most amazing creatures ever created (yes I am totally biased, no apologies will be given). So the day also reminds me of how completely lucky and I mean lucky I am to have them.
Motherhood is one hell of a challenge, no one will ever argue that point. The idea of Mother’s Day is a lovely one, however, I have learnt during this past few weeks that it means so many different things to so many different people. I’m going to leave you with the best response I received, it made me smile and it’s a wonderful outlook heading into Sunday if you’re not looking forward to it.
“I’m having a Happy New Mothers Day. I’m treating it like New Year’s Eve. A chance to make a fresh start and make changes for the better.” This Mothers Day I’m taking time to make resolutions. First, to be a happy Mum, not a grumble bum! Have fun with my kids, smile, laugh, be available and enjoy being a Mum. My inspiration came from an epitaph on the grave of a Mum; “she was the sunshine of my home”. I want to be the sunshine of my home. That’s my Mothers Day resolution, to be the happiest Mum I can be this Mothers Day!”
Happy Mother’s Day