Often I find myself in conversations that are nothing but people talking in order to compare lives. Sometimes it’s just a friendly way of people getting to know each other better, old friends sharing what’s going on in their world, or the other kind, people just questioning you just to compare themselves to you.
As usual I hold my hands up and admit I am way too often guilty of the latter and I’m not proud of it.
It’s something I first noticed when I became a Mum, I had never done this gig before and frankly I needed to check what I was doing was not going to harm my kids! I was looking for reassurance that I was doing some things right. Obviously I had the habit to begin with, it was just more intense when I was unsure of myself and I became aware of how much I did it.
I cannot speak for men, never been one and don’t have a desire to be one! But I feel as if men in general don’t find themselves in these types of conversations as often as women. I have consciously observed over the past few weeks the amount of times I am in conversations with people who are taking mental notes of what I am conveying about my little hippie world, only to be comparing it to what is going on in theirs.
Why do we feel the need to compare others worlds to ours, what benefit do we get from it?
There is something I am 100% certain of, there is no one on this planet that you could possibly compare yourself to. No family is the same, no financial situation, no friendships, absolutely nothing is comparable. So again, why do we feel the need to compare?
This week my training buddy pulled me up at the gym and said “Do you realize, we think we’re the unfit ones, but others in the gym think they can’t do what we do?” She was like “Isn’t that crazy!” “We think these people are fitter than us, they think we are fitter than them!” I asked her “When does it stop, when will we not compare ourselves?” She smiled, laughed and walked off, calling out over her shoulder “It doesn’t!”
We seem to use other’s lives as a measuring stick for our own. If you are able to appreciate what others achieve, strive for, appreciate how they choose to go about their lives without passing judgement and without using it compare your existence to theirs, I’m sure it can be a positive.
If you’re having a conversation with someone about diet, kids, families, routines, exercise, work, holidays, motivation, stop and remember their life is just that, theirs. You can take away so many wonderful things from conversations if you stop, listen and appreciate what you’re hearing!
Appreciate who you are and appreciate others as they are. Enjoy conversing without comparison, I promise you will feel lighter, brighter and content with being you.
Have an amazing weekend.